Clumsy Love: A Father’s Journey Parenting His Transgender Daughter

A father’s journey of love, loss, and discovery as he learns to embrace and support his transgender daughter–one clumsy step at a time.

In the summer of 2011, at a family gathering in the north woods of Wisconsin, a four-year-old named Simon–the only child of a couple from West Central Wisconsin–quietly made a bold statement. Donning oversized fairy wings, Simon’s attempt to dress as a girl stunned the extended family into silence. Four years later, Simon told their parents she was a girl and would be wearing a dress to her ninth birthday party. By thirteen, she had legally changed her name to Simone. From that point forward, the family began making regular trips to Madison to see an endocrinologist at the University of Wisconsin’s Pediatric and Adolescent Transgender Health (PATH) Clinic.

As Simone transitioned and entered adolescence, her father found himself grappling with increasingly complex questions: How could he fully support her without being consumed by worry for her safety? What should be done with family photos that captured a version of Simone that no longer existed? And how could he mourn the son he thought he had while wholeheartedly embracing the daughter he now loved?

Clumsy Love tells the story of one father’s evolving, imperfect, and deeply genuine efforts to raise his transgender child. As Simone grows into the person she’s always known herself to be, her father embarks on a parallel journey–learning, day by day, what it truly means to love the unexpected child who changed his world.